My first week back has definitely been full of ups and downs. It kind of seems like every step forward I take, the next day is two full steps back. Its a little discouraging, but I'm keeping my head up. This was Rivers first week of busy season and him being gone from 8am-9pm everyday hasn't been easy, but as always I'm nothing but impressed with how he handles himself and all the pressures of life. He comes home with a smile everyday and it makes it much easier for me to return the favor no matter how I'm feeling. Thursday was a really good day for me, i was able to be up more than i have in weeks. Arden and amber were coming over for dinner and i don't know if i had a lot of adrenaline or what, but i was cooking all day and even walked to the store. Ive noticed that my pain in the past week has gone down a lot. I barely need to take pain medication anymore and when i do still get pain when i eat i can usually get it to go away with a bath or my heating pad. Anyone who knows me knows that i literally take around 10 hot baths a day, i find them beyond relaxing and they are really the only thing that i find works with my pain. Ive never been about pain meds, although my doctors encouraged me to take something through this flare up because of how bad it is. I don't find they really work for me, and if anything they just make me more exhausted, something i don't need more of. Tomorrow i will start tapering off the prednisone which i am THRILLED about. Its hard to describe taking steroids to someone who hasn't before, but it literally messes with your entire body system. The biggest thing for me is sleeping. Im a really difficult sleeper as it is (i use sleep medication) but on the prednisone its a whole different story. Its impossible to calm your body down enough to relax. I can feel my heart beating extra fast or hard (i know it sounds so weird) and sometimes its beating so hard i have to catch my breath, which makes sleeping really difficult. My senses are also extra crazy, especially smell. The slightest smell can make me gag and just in general i notice small smells i never would have noticed before, really weird. Another major thing I've struggled with this flare up is my eyes. Its not uncommon for people with autoimmune disorders such as crohns to have their eyes affected, but its never been an issue for me until now. When i started the prednisone about a month ago my eyelids literally became swollen shut and my vision in my right eye became blurry. This was one actually one of the reasons i thought i needed to go to the clinic to be seen, i was afraid it could be an allergic reaction to the steroids. After several eye doctor appointments when i was in the hospital they told me that because my immune system essentially attacks itself (autoimmune disease) my eyes were one of the places it was doing so. They described my eye as having a blister on the cornea from this and prescribed me, you guessed it, steroid drops. They seem to be getting a little better but are definitely still bothering me for now. It pretty much sucks just being around my apartment all day, but for now i know that i need to just be rebuilding my strength. My appetite is slowly coming back, but I'm still losing weight everyday. In the past 3 weeks I've lost just about 10 pounds…which you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at my face which is really puffy because of the prednisone. I can't wait until i can start exploring the city again and hopefully soon find another job. For now its been cleaning, trying lots of new recipes, pretty little liars, and hanging out with the puppies. Looking forward to a lazy sunday watching football all day with Riv tomorrow. 

Until next time, C