I'm writing this post from the filthy terminals of LaGuardia airport. Last night things got pretty bad and River and I decided that I needed to get home to the Cleveland clinic and get this taken care of once and for all. We hopped on the phone and got a one way flight to Cleveland. Those who know me we'll know that river is my absolute rock and I wouldn't survive any of this without him. Not to mention I have my two fluffy therapy dogs who by some sixth sense can tell when I'm feeling sick before I can. The decision to leave my family to seek therapy says worlds about how I'm feeling. I feel so helpless in New York without my network of doctors and think that it's more beneficial to get home to get it figured out rather than sit in an ER for hours on end getting poked like a guinea pig. The past 72 hours my eyes have started to swell shut, I'm not sure if I'm having an allergic reaction to the prednisone or if it's just another twisted complication of the crohns, but regardless, it's worry some and I need to get it looked at. My doctor at the clinic is one of the best crohns specialists in the country and if he told me to just off a bridge, let's face it, I'd consider it. My plan is to get home around midnight, go strait to the ER and hopefully have him see me to admit me to the hospital first thing in the morning. Tomorrow is his first day back from holiday and I can only hope that he will be able to find some sort of time to see me. Naturally, there has to be a kink in my plans, and the massive snowstorm in Cleveland isn't helping right about now. My flight was delayed for only an hour so far and I'm hoping that from here out I have a smooth and quick flight and maybe everyone will cancel their appointments with doctor Ashkar tomorrow!! (Wishful thinking, right?) Both of my parents and rivers parents have been so helpful and supportive through all of this and I always know when I come back to Cleveland I'll be in good hands with all of them watching over me. It's funny no matter how old you get, your parents never stop worrying about you and keeping your best interests at heart. Thank god for all of them. This will be the longest I've been without river in as long as I can remember and I am surely not looking forward to that. My last hospital stay he didn't leave my side for 10 days strait. The angel slept in a chair next to my bed. He takes a part of his CPA exam Friday and so I'm hoping that I can get out of his hair for a couple days so that he can really focus on studying and getting this part of his test out of the way (I know you can do it baby!) I'm off to go check on my flight, please cross your fingers for no more delays and a safe and easy flight (especially since I don't have my hand squeezing travel buddy with me) Everyone stay warm. See you later NYC, hello 216.