Today marks 3 months since my
surgery, and I have so so so much to be thankful for this year. Minus the
freezing cold weather, this is my favorite time of year. I love the holidays
and everything that comes with them. I love the food, the decorations, the family…One
year ago I began my drastic downward spiral in my disease. I had just moved to
New York and was lost, physically and mentally. I had to cut ties with all of
my trusted doctors and move to a completely new place, almost blindly. I was so
sick I had to leave my job and attempt to focus on my health and figuring out
what was going on. I spent both Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years in a
tremendous amount of pain and suffering and I missed my favorite time of year
and ended up in the hospital for a week. These are memories I will never
forgot. This year, I feel like I am looking at the world through an entirely
new pair of eyes, a healthy pair. I am able to finally see the beauty that the
holidays have to offer and I couldn’t be happier about it. Its become more and
more evident to me that the city life isn’t for me, but even I have to admit
that the city comes alive during the holidays, it really is magical.
Thanksgiving is
my favorite holiday of the entire year. Rivers birthday always falls in the
thanksgiving break, and it’s a lovely way to kick off the holidays. We were
fortunate enough to be able to spend a week in Cleveland for Thanksgiving and
it was just what the doctor ordered. Anyone who knows me knows that my sisters
are my absolute best friends in the world. My younger sister Kyra is my mini me
and it was so hard to get through my surgery without her by my side. Before
thanksgiving I hadn’t seen her since before the surgery. I couldn’t wait to
show her my new “accessary” and tell her all about it. Needless to say, she
thought it was pretty impressive. We spent the weekend acting like hooligans
and of course, eating like pigs. Naturally, Sunday was spent at my dads
watching the Browns win. Of course this wasn’t done easily and they had us on
the edge of our seats all day. Chagrin falls feels more and more like home
everytime we go there, again, especially during the holidays. On Rivers
birthday we were lucky enough to get massages. Leave it to me to get major
anxiety about a flipping massage. This is the first massage ive had since
getting my bag and I haven’t yet been able to lay comfortably on my belly. Of
course I had nothing to worry about, they were very compassionate and
understanding and I wasn’t their first ostomy customer so they knew exactly
what to do. For Rivers birthday dinner we went to our traditional birthday
dinner location; benihana with my family and Rivers. Although this week was supposed to be a
“break”, anytime we are in Cleveland we make lists and lists of things we want
to do, yet we never seem to scratch the surface. On Wednesday we went to the
Cavs game. The atmosphere is so insane now that Lebron is back, its amazing the
things he is doing to unite this city. Still goosebumps…
Thursday was of
course Thanksgiving. My mom, as always, cooked an amazing meal and we spent the day cooking as a family and playing games, it was wonderful. This thanksgiving felt different for me (as many things
now do), and I spent a lot of time thinking of all the things I have to truly
be thankful for this year. My family. Of course every year I am thankful for
family, but to really see how much they are there for you in a time of need
makes it so much more special. My family has never once judged me, but instead
goes above and beyond to make me feel comfortable. Really I am not able to put
into words how thankful I am for them, but they all know, so I will leave it at
that. I am thankful for my job. Not only am I thankful to have a job, but I am
thankful to have found a second family within my job. When I was sick they
could have easily let me go, but instead they told me to take all the time I
needed for my recovery, and sent me numerous words of support and
encouragement. I am a lucky girl. I am thankful for my medical team. With a
condition such as mine, that requires me to seek medical care often, it is so
important to me to feel comfortable and confident with my doctors. I put all
decisions up to my doctors and my surgeon, and when I thought I wasn’t going to
make it, they gave me faith and found a way to change my life forever. The fact
that I have their cell phone numbers and they often call just to see how im
doing speaks worlds, I am not just a number to them, but a person. I feel
beyond fortunate to have amazing insurance that provides me with this world
class care, and I never take it for granted. Ostomy supplies are extremely
expensive, and I will not require them for the rest of my life. On average, my
monthly shipment costs around $600. That almost $7,500 a year, and if I live to
be 84, it will cost me around $500,000. How someone could manage this without
insurance is beyond me. I am thankful for my friends, both old and new. Even if
we haven’t spoken or seen each other in years, your words matter to me equally.
I am thankful for each and every call, text, message, email that I have
received in the past few months letting me know that you are here for me. I
love you all. I am thankful for my fuzzy boys who I attribute much of my
recovery too. Animals have an amazing 6th sense where they can tell
that something is wrong. My dogs personalities changed when I was sick and they
are finally back to being happy dogs now that they see mama is healthy and
happy. Lastly, I am extremely thankful for my disease. I understand how that
sounds, but it is true. I have gone through more highs and lows in the past 6
years than I hope any of you will have to go through in a lifetime. This
disease has helped me find out who I really am. With a medical condition you
learn so much about not only your body, but your emotions. I have had to dig
deep to places I never knew existed to find a strength I never knew I had. But
now I do. I am an IBD warrior, and I always will be, and I am proud of that.
This week is IBD awareness week, and I am so touched by all the
support that I have seen. I cannot stress how important awareness is. Someone
you love has IBD and fights everyday for a cure.
As always, tell those you love how thankful you are for them and
how much you love them.
Happy holidays, C
