Alot of uncertainties tonight as i get ready to sleep in the hospital for the last time. Tomorrow they are comfortable discharging me and Jani (Rivers mom) is going to pick me up and take me back to their house for the night. The tricky part is deciding when I'm ready to go back to new york. I feel strongly that my best recovery time will begin when i am home with my husband and our fluffy boys in my own apartment. Having a full week away from river caused enough stress and i want to get home to him asap. For now, Im planning on taking a 7:45 am flight sunday morning and getting back into Manhattan around 10 or so. That being said, my family has voiced some concerns about me traveling so quickly and want me to stay in cleveland for a week or so to make sure everything checks out before i go home. I'm feeling a little discouraged about this because i don't think i should have to sit around and let my life go by before my eyes while i wait for something to happen, like getting sicker, or getting better. This crohns has taken enough away from me the past week and as much as i love my family here for having my best interests at heart, i have to listen to my body, and its telling me to get home to River and to the comfort of my own apartment. With this being said, some fires were lit under my butt today about "what if this happens, what if you get sicker, etc…" and my answer has to be "Yeah, what if it does…" I am going to have to take a gamble for what I believe to be best for me and not let the crohns bring me down along the way. I have begun looking at more radical and holistic changes that I'm very interested in starting once i get settled in back in new york. I am going to take control of this disease and not let it take control of me. River is all on board to make better eating habits that may help keep it under control, for example dairy and gluten free has shown some success among other patients, as well as holistic remedies such as acupuncture. At this point I'm willing to try it all. Sorry this post was kind of a rant. Im just a girl dying to go home to her husband and live our fairytale as normal and sick free as possible. The city is too beautiful a place to be too sick to enjoy it. Hopefully a good night so that all goes well with discharge tomorrow.
Positive thoughts…C
Celina, I am so glad to hear you are open to trying some holistic options and dietary changes!! It certainly won't hurt to try. I also understand wanting to go home to your boys! I would want to do the same thing if I were you! Sending positive energy and hopes that things are going to get better and you will get to enjoy your first year of marriage and the Big Apple the way we all thought you would-feeling well!!!
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