The past month has been a little discouraging to say the least. I am always trying to keep a positive outlook on everything and try to recognize that there is always someone who has it worse off than me but its been especially hard to do that recently. In the past few weeks I have taken drastic downhill turns, which is beyond frustrating considering i am supposed to be getting better everyday. At my last infusion the doctor asked me if i was feeling any better and my response was "no not really, worse actually" and her response was a look of shock and "oh...all my other patients at this point in the therapy are feeling WORLDS better". This isn't my normal doctor, just the one who is able to infuse the entyvio. I was shocked by her, in my opinion, heartless response and i spent the next hour+ of my infusion holding back tears because I, once again, am afraid this treatment isn't going to work for me. I was diagnosed August 28, 2008. Six years. It has been almost six years suffering with this debilitating disease and I have never felt the feeling of remission. Its been doctor after doctor treatment after treatment and the never ending "we will find something for you". Well, we haven't. And at this point i am beginning to feel extremely beaten down physically and emotionally. 

not much else to say right now, pity party of one...